A First
by Iscah McKrae
Summary: Jess has been in love with Rory for such a long time. Just when it seems they'll have their happily-ever-after after all, he makes a startling revelation about his past. Literati. One-shot. NOT THE SAME STORY-VERSE AS "PAY THE PIPER."


_**A/N: **__This one-shot is dedicated to Watram, because one of her reviews to Pay the Piper triggered the thought process that led to this story. (It may wind up being controversial as well, but definitely not in the same way. ;-) ) and, to my husband, who has taught me the true meaning of love._

_And, for all of you who may be wondering, and who have been asking, yes, I will be updating Pay the Piper soon! Thank you for loving it so much, and thank you for your patience! (and for nagging me, because I need that too…lol)_

_A First_

It was one of the Dragonfly Inn's best rooms, beautifully decorated. Everything was in order. The only things out of place were on a small table: an uncorked bottle of champagne and two glasses, a plate half full of chocolate-covered strawberries with a dozen or so remaining stems of those that had been eaten; and, adorning the floor: one tuxedo, and one dress.

Jess bit his lower lip.

"Rory…" he began, hesitantly, "If I told you something, would you promise not to mock me for it for the rest of my life?" It was one of those exceedingly rare moments in which Rory had seen him look truly vulnerable. A sweet smile played upon her lips.

"How could I possibly mock you for anything you told me tonight?" she said sweetly, in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Promise," he urged, his eyes almost pained, his expression earnest.

"I promise," she assured him. He moistened his lips, one after the other, eyes fixed downward on the bedpost, and swallowed slowly.

"This…" he said, finally, casting his eyes between the two of them, and then around the room, and at last coming to lock upon her eyes to read the expression in them while he spoke, "…was a first for me." He waited to read his fate in her eyes. She was almost afraid to breathe…her features betrayed carefully controlled shock, confusion, and near disbelief.

"You mean…" she asked in half-stuttering caution, "…a…first, first?" He continued to hold her gaze and nodded with a motion so small she could feel it against her shoulder more than she could see it. "…wow…" The small exclamation seemed to be all she was capable of for some seconds. "I've…never been anyone's first before," she said, softly, her voice catching slightly in her throat. "…not that…I mean…that makes it sound like…I've only _had_ two other boyfriends, but they both…I was…much too late for that." She hated that she was laying here on her wedding night talking about ex-boyfriends. How did that happen? Was she hurting him by saying this? It wasn't as if he'd been under any illusion, but still. She looked back into his eyes. They were soft, but unreadable. "_I'm_…your first?" she breathed, awestruck by the thought. Again, looking straight into her eyes, as if searching her soul, he nodded. After this, she had to ask the question that had occurred to her first. "How?" She knew it couldn't be lack of opportunity…or even entirely lack of desire…but what, then? He chewed on the corner of his lip for a moment, glancing downward momentarily, before meeting her eyes once more.

"Before I knew you," he started, with frank honesty, "I was afraid to let anyone get…that close." That, she could certainly believe. "And, afterward…" this part was harder to say, "…it just…wouldn't have been right."

Despite all his declarations, the books, her beautiful ring, the vows he seemed so hesitant to write, but when he spoke them had taken her breath away…despite all of this, it was at this moment she realized how much he loved her. All that time…all those years…he'd loved her that much.

He reached over and with his thumb, he wiped away the tears that had formed and spilled down her face and toward her ears, which made her laugh at herself self-consciously.

"This is a good thing?" he asked softly. There was no possible way for her to speak, so she answered him by hurtling forward and pouring all of her love and gratitude into one trembling, passionate, sweet kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her close to him. As they broke away from this kiss, Rory's tears broke out afresh, her lip trembling so that she bit it to make it stop.

"Jess, I wish-" but he stopped her with a finger to her lips, shaking his head with eyes full of love.

"I wish I'd stayed," he told her, gently, but firmly. "I wish I'd never broken your heart. I wish our happily-ever-after could have come without all the battered memories in between." He leaned forward, his forehead touching hers, "But in _you, _I have everything I ever wished for."

"Oh, _Jess!" she spoke his name as she had never spoken it before…_

…_and there, tangled in the bed sheets, looking into the eyes of the man she loved, Rory Mariano's heart was unbroken, and opened fully to the pure sunlight of love for the very first time._


End file.
